Dude, You Could Have Just Said No

Me: “Can I get your name, please?”

Customer: “Jon. J-O-N.”

Me: *As I put his name in the register* “Short for Jonathan?”

Customer: “Dear, the last guy who called me Jonathan got punched in the face! I don’t even look like a Jonathan! Too many tattoos! What’s with that name, anyway? Everyone always calls me Jonathan, but it’s just Jon! I’ve been working in the construction business for forty years! You can’t work in this business and have a name like Jonathan! No one gets away with calling me Jonathan. But since you’re, well, cute, I’ll let you get away with it. You’ve got a very nice laugh, by the way, and a very beautiful smile.”