Dad’s Lucky HE’S Still Invited

I got married at the weekend. As anyone who’s ever done it knows, wedding planning is one of the most stressful and exhausting things you can experience for something so happy. A large part of that is down to having to play family politics for every single decision. There’s a reason Wedding Planner is a full-time job!

My dad started by saying that it was OUR wedding, and we could do things the way WE wanted. We shouldn’t listen to what anyone else said, especially as we were paying for it all ourselves. But then, he found out I wasn’t inviting his incredibly flaky best friend, who hasn’t spoken to me since I stopped living with my parents and has never had a conversation with my now-husband.

Dad: “But you have to invite [Friend]! He’s my best friend!”

Me: “Right, he’s your best friend. He’s not made any attempt to contact me in nearly four years and he doesn’t even know [Husband]’s name.”

Dad: “That’s not the point! He invited you to his wedding!”

Me: “Yes, he invited me as your child, not as myself. He didn’t invite [Husband] because, as I already told you, he doesn’t know [Husband]. And I think his wedding day is the only time I’ve met his wife! I couldn’t pick her out of a crowd. Also, it wouldn’t just be [Friend]. It would be [Friend], [Friend]’s wife, and two children under five! We’ve already gone over the limit for the number of guests we can invite, and you want me to add four more people to the list?!”

Dad: “But you’re inviting [Friend]’s sister and her family! How can you invite her and not [Friend]?!”

Me: “[Friend’s Sister] is my godmother! She deliberately chose to play an active role in my life, texts me regularly, and invites me to her kids’ birthday and Christmas parties. She’s coming to my hen do because she’s like a big sister to me! She knows [Husband]’s name and has even met his parents! This is his wedding, as well, don’t forget, and he doesn’t know [Friend] at all!”

Rinse and repeat various similar arguments for at least half an hour, until…

Dad: “But I’ve already told him when it is! I told him the invite would be in the post!”

Aha! That’s why you’re so worried about this; you want to protect your pride!

Me: “Well, that’s not my fault. I never told you I was going to invite him, and I’ve not given you the okay to give the details out yet.”

This carried on for quite a while with my dad screaming and getting angry like a toddler. Eventually, he resorted to emotional blackmail and started yelling at my mum, calling her a “liar” and worse because he thought she had “been in on it” and was deliberately keeping it from him. When he started on that, I caved. I can’t stand it when he’s like that to Mum, especially when it’s not her fault.

The punchline is that his friend, the one that was “so important to this family,” that he couldn’t be without, and who had been given the date of our wedding weeks before anyone else, didn’t even come. Being the total flake that he was, he forgot the date Dad had told him, and he didn’t mention it to his wife, who went ahead and booked a holiday. He then lost the invite when we eventually sent it, and we found out after the RSVP date that his wife didn’t even know we’d invited them — nor did she expect to be invited because, you know, we hardly know them. My dad couldn’t understand why I was fuming.

Whilst this wasn’t the last stunt he pulled to get his own way at our wedding, it was the first and last time he tried to influence the guest list. And he still doesn’t get why we live so far away.