Customer Stupidity Never Comes In Sample Sizes

(I am working as a manager for a demo company in a large chain store. Basically, I control the people handing out food samples. It’s ten in the morning, and the store has just opened for the day.)

Customer: “Your sample people are rude!”

Me: “I am sorry, ma’am, but I need you to explain the situation. What was rude?”

Customer: “She refused to give me a sample!” *points to a lady in the freezer section*

Me: “Ma’am, that is a frozen product, and her shift just started. It takes about twenty minutes to cook that product.”

Customer: *rolls her eyes* “That is such BS! She has a microwave! It should take seconds!”

Me: “That is a small convection oven that she has, not a microwave. Even in a microwave, it would still take several minutes to thaw out and become hot.”

Customer: “I don’t need it hot! Just a little warm!”

Me: “I would have to write her up, since serving cold food that should be hot can spread food-borne illnesses.”

Customer: “Oh, that is a myth! It’s perfectly safe! Now, make her give me an extra-big sample, or I will report you to the store manager!”

Me: “First of all, I work for a different company than this store. Second, if you want food poisoning, you will have to get it at another store. You can come back when the food is actually done, or you can go and spend a few dollars at the deli. Also, it’s against store policy to give larger sizes to anyone. Everyone gets the same size.”

Customer: “That is not a policy! You are full of it!”

Me: *points to giant sign behind me on the wall of my office that states serving temperatures and size rules*

Customer: “I will never shop here again! You are so rude, and so are your employees!”

(She was back the next day.)