Their Brain Logged Out A Long Time Ago

, , , | | Right | June 6, 2018

(I currently work in Internet support for a major insurance company. Our primary duties involve password resets, but every once in a while, we’ll get something like this. The sad part is that this is not the first time I’ve gotten this type of call.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]’s Internet support. My name is [My Name]. May I have your name, please?”

Caller: “It won’t let me log out. I clicked the ‘log out’ button and it gave me an error, and it won’t let me log out now.”

Me: “All right, well, I’m certainly sorry to hear about the trouble.” *with emphasis* “May I have your name, please?”

Caller: “It’s [Caller].”

Me: “All right, Mr. [Caller], do you remember the exact error message that you encountered?”

Caller: *reads off generic browser error message* “Why won’t it let me log out?”

Me: “Okay, well, it sounds like your browser encountered an error. If you close out of the browser it will log you out from the website.”

Caller: “I tried that, and it says I’m still logged in.”

Me: “Did you close out of all of the browser windows, entirely?”

Caller: “No, let me try that. Hold on; it’s restarting.”

Me: *feeling dread creep over me* “The browser is restarting?”

Caller: “No, the computer. It’s thinking now; hold on.”

(I sit there in silence while the customer waits for his computer to finish booting after it restarted.)

Caller: “All right. I’m back on the website and it says I’m logged out; let me log in and make sure I can log out again.”

(I place the customer on mute and bang my head on my desk while insulting this man’s parentage.)

Caller: “Okay, it let me log out.”

Me: “Fantastic. Is there anything else I can help you with today, Mr. [Caller]?”

Caller: “No, but do you know why it wouldn’t let me log out?”

Me: *throws pen across cubicle* “Like I said, it sounded like a random browser error, but you should be fine from here on out. Thank you for calling [Company]. We appreciate your business. I hope you have a good day.” *disconnects call*

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