Blue Mountains Trump Splash Mountain

Our nature park has a river tour that takes visitors a few miles downstream, and then it’s a hike back to the parking lot and visitor’s center

Tourist: “How long does it take for the river to bring me back?”

Me: “What do you mean, ‘back’?” 

Tourist: “How long does it take for the river to bring me back? As in back to this spot?”

Me: “You don’t get back to this spot. You need to hike back.” 

Tourist: “But we use the tubes on the river at the waterparks back home, and they always come back around.”

Me: “Those are theme parks. This is nature.”

Tourist: “But they call them rivers!” 

Me: “Real rivers don’t go in loops.”

Tourist: “That’s stupid! You should call your rivers something else!”

Me: “I’m pretty sure our rivers came first.”