Birth-Out-Of-Control Pill

(This takes place many years ago when my aunt is only four years old.)

Aunt: *to my grandmother* “Mommy, am I a pill baby?”

Grandmother: *confused* “Well, yes, you are. Who told you that?”

Aunt: *bursts into hysterics*

Grandmother: “[Troublesome Aunt]! What did you do to your sister?!”

Troublesome Aunt: “Nothing! I just told her she was a pill baby!”

Grandmother: “What did you say a pill baby was?”

Troublesome Aunt: “I told her it was one of those pills you throw in the bathtub, and it expands into a baby.”

Grandmother: “What?! It just means she was born while I was on birth control!”

Aunt: “So, I wasn’t grown in the bathtub? What’s birth control?”

Troublesome Aunt: “It’s what people use when they don’t want babies.”

Aunt: “You didn’t want me?!”

(Cue my aunt bursting into tears again and my grandmother trying to console her and punish her other daughter at the same time.)