Bigotry That Needs To Stay At Home

Reading this story made me think of something that happened to me years ago.

I am a stay-at-home dad in a relatively conservative area, but I’ve never really had issues with people about it. One day, while I am getting coffee before my grocery shopping, an older man walks up and starts talking to me uninvited. I’m not terribly put out by this, though, because while my coffee is done, my kids’ hot cocoa isn’t.

Old Man: “So, you babysitting the kids, then?”

Me: “Nope, these are mine, so it’s parenting. Just a dad doing dad things.”

Old Man: “Oh, ah, I see. Well, it’s good to see parents being involved, especially dads. This country needs more active and involved dads.”

This, of course, gets me to lower my guard, so we talk a little more about how he wishes he had been able to be more involved in his kids’ lives when they were young. I mention that I made some poor choices when I was younger that impacted my earning potential, whereas my wife went and got herself qualified for a six-figure-level job (not that she is earning that, but many people with her qualifications are), so it makes sense for me to stay at home while the kids are too young for school. He seems really supportive of women succeeding in business and even grouses about gender pay inequality. So, at this point, I think I may have made a new older friend.

Then, out of nowhere, a small child latches on to my leg and squeals a greeting. She is one of my oldest child’s classmates in preschool, and when I volunteered in the class, we bonded over our shared love of creepy art. Her mom is about four meters behind her, laughing apologetically as she comes up and says hi, before they move on into the store.

The man’s demeanor has totally shifted as he watches this young white mom and her small Black child walk into the store.

Old Man: “I tell you what! Interracial marriage is just a crime against the children!”

Me: *In total shock* “Um… what?”

Old Man: “Well, it’s just awful! That girl could have had any real man she wanted but had to go off with the wrong sort!”

Me: “Sir, let me remind you that I was a dumb kid and made a lot of bad choices growing up—”

Old Man: *Interrupting* “That’s no excuse for her sleeping around outside her kind.”

Me: “BUT! I have grown and developed as a person since then. And as evidence of how much I’ve grown as a person—”

Here, I make sure I have direct eye contact with him

Me: “—you’re still standing and have teeth in your mouth. If you ever speak to me again, I may not have the same restraint. Good Friday!”

(I didn’t actually say, “Good Friday,” but it started with the same letters.)

While I live in a city, it’s not a huge city, I’ve seen him about since then, but he has never tried to talk to me again.

Related:
Bigotry That Needs To Pipe Down