Better Beef Up Your Knowledge Of The Subject

One Saturday morning, I’m out in the city shopping for a few things from different places. I’m not looking for anything major, just a cable from here, a couple of birthday cards from there — that sort of thing. There’s a fair bit of wandering back and forth involved. Parking’s a nightmare, so rather than drive from store to store, I’ve left the car in a parking lot not too far away.

I’m not in any rush, so I take the time to wander around a couple of vaguely interesting stores I’ve not been in before and a bookshop while I’m there.

Saturday morning becomes lunchtime, and since I didn’t have breakfast, I’m getting quite hungry. I’m passing a fast food chain, so figure I’ll stop in for something quick. I’m not a fan of fast food generally and have never frequented such places, so I’m not familiar with what might be on offer, other than the obvious.

I walk in, and there are only a couple of people queueing in front of me. They’re dealt with pretty quickly while I’m still staring up at the menu board thing across the top of the counter. There are lots of bright primary colours to appeal to seven-year-olds but no clear list of options.

By this time, several more people have entered and are queueing up behind me.

Assistant: “What can I get you?”

Me: “Er…”

I still have no idea, but I’m aware of the presence behind me.

Me: “I dunno… Just a hamburger, please.”

Assistant: *With an exasperated sigh* “We don’t do hamburgers; we only do beefburgers.”

Me: “…”