She Has Attained Nana-vana

(My manager is ringing up an elderly couple two registers down from me. It’s quiet at the moment, so I can hear their conversation.)

Customer: *places her credit card on the counter*

Manager: “Ah, you can run your card here through the pin pad. If you’d like credit instead of debit, just press—”

Customer: *testily* “Yeah, I got it, honey, I got it. We don’t need explanations.” *slides her card* “I’ve been shopping at stores like this since before you were born. I don’t need you to explain anything. I’m eighty years old; I know everything.”

(My manager and I shared a look, and luckily the transaction finished quietly and without further incident. Personally, I can’t wait to reach eighty now, so I can know everything, too.)