And Lo, The Next “Fifty Shades” Was Born

We hired a new administrative assistant to help keep track of things. She was fresh to the job market, but her credentials were reasonable. She was able to type an impressive ninety-two words per minute during our proctored typing test, about half again as fast as the runner-up.

Unfortunately, she was a bit useless. She spent most of her time browsing webcomics and reading raunchy fanfiction on the Internet — when she wasn’t using the work computer to write it. Whenever someone asked her to do something, she’d say, “Yeah, that’s not my job,” and not do it. 

Frustrated, I confronted her.

Me: “You say this isn’t your job, and that isn’t your job. What exactly do you think your job is?”

Admin Assistant: *Flustered* “Uh… um…”

Me: “Yeah. That’s what I thought. This is your official verbal notice. Start making yourself useful, or we will be removing you from the team.”

She actually did shape up after that! I think that it was just her first job and she needed a little kick in the pants to remind her that jobs are supposed to be work. She stayed with us for five years until she got her degree from college and left.