Unfiltered Story #292255

A coworker walks up to me and asks,
Coworker: If I say “Santa”, do you know what I’m saying?
He’s wearing a mask, and comes from England, but is clear so I say,
Me: Yes?
Coworker: Okay, ’cause I’ve said it to, like, 5 people today and no one knew what I was saying.
Me: Oh, well, I’m half British. I so I speak English, Canadian and American fluently.
Coworker: They all speak English.
Me: Obviously not.
(In fairness, I’m a linguist with a BA in English so I have studied the nuances of my favourite language. I know and use it to my advantage, changing spellings and pronunciation to fit any circumstance.)