Unfiltered Story #292176

I’m your stereotypical Asian nerd. My classmate has asked me to be his wingman and wouldn’t take no for an answer. However he quickly got frustrated at how useless I was at wingman duties.

Classmate: *through his teeth* “How hard can it be? This isn’t quantum physics.”

Me: *totally serious* “Agreed. Quantum physics is way easier than this.”

Classmate: *mutters darkly*

Me: “Remind me again why you thought that I’d make a good wingman? You literally could’ve asked any one of our other classmates. Who are, you know, the really hot swim club beefcakes?”

Classmate: “You’re better than them.”

Me: “Only at grades. I’m not the guy that’s good with girls. I’m the guy that’s good at rocket science. So how in the world am I better than them?”

Classmate: “It doesn’t matter! I’ve picked you and you are going to distract [Female classmate] and get her away from [Cute classmate]. Or so help me I will snap you in half.”

Me: “This isn’t going to end well.”

It didn’t. I completely failed at distracting anyone. My classmate didn’t get his date. And he refused to talk to me for almost a year.

Till this day, I’m still not sure why he picked me as his wingman. He was classmates with the bulk of the swim team, whom were the buffest and hottest guys in school. They’d gladly help him out if he asked. Like, they offered to wingman for *me*. And he was way closer to them than I was.

So why did he pick the nerdiest guy in school to be his wingman? That’s a recipe for disaster.