Unfiltered Story #287255

I’m in a comedy play about pirates. The costume ladies have gotten their hands on a fake parrot that is affixed to my costume vest during a rehearsal, just to see if it’ll work. One of them is carefully watching my movements to see how the parrot, whom I have already dubbed Bartholomew, fares.

My lines are quite spread out, so I tend to wander around the stage and do “piratey” things to avoid just standing still. One of these things is looking around with a “telescope” that’s really just my hand, since we don’t have a whole lot of props yet.

The routine is simple: I put the “telescope” up to my eye, scan the audience seats, lock onto something, and make a “watching you” gesture. However, this time, after finding a spot to lock onto, I hold the “telescope” up above my shoulder to allow Bartholomew a look through.

The costume lady watching me nearly died laughing.