Unfiltered Story #205581

I have the after hours emergency phone for my clinic. Our clinic day time phone number is only one digit different from the human hospital, so during the day it is not uncommon to get calls for the human hospital. Normally these callers don’t cause an issue afterhours as they deterred by our message bank which gives our clinic name, my name and title and says veterinarian about four times.
Me: veterinary hospital after hours, this is (my name)
Caller: Hi, its Name, i had a line put in my heart yesterday and now its really itchy.
Me: at this point I’m frantically trying to remember if we sent any patients for heart surgery recently. I see and where was the procedure performed?
Caller: over in (nearby large town)
Me: I see…sorry did you say into your heart?
Caller: yeah and its really itchy.
Me: sir you’ve called the veterianary hospital, you need the human hospital. Their number is (number). I think you need to talk to them.
Caller: sounding very subduded. Oh, ok. Hangs up.

About an hour later. The phone rings again.
Me: veterinary hospital after hours, this is (my name)
Caller: hey, the line in my heart is still itchy.
Me: sir you have again called the veterinary hospital. You need to call the human hospital, there is nothing i can do for you.
Caller: after a long moment of silence. But it is really itchy, its kind of burning now.
Me: sir please, the phone number you are looking for is (number). Please call it and talk to the human doctor.
Caller: are you sure?
Me: yes sir, i am a veterinarian, i can only treat animals. Please call the human hospital. Do you need me to repeat the number?
Caller: no thats ok. Thanks anyway.
His number was blocked so I couldn’t check back with him in the morning, but I do have to wonder what drugs he was on to keep calling the vet for help with his heart condition.