Unfiltered Story #201629

The weirdest day of my entire retail career:
It’s 2002. I am working the service counter at a well known retailer with a logo of concentric circles. Customer and his lady walk up…

Me: Hi! How may I help you?

Customer: I wanna return this CD. I don’t know what you people are trying to pull, but this is NOT (Punk Band Name.) I don’t know who’s singing, and it’s crap.

Me: (reads the clearly written text on the CD case, but trying to be nice, because I volunteer at an adult literacy program and some people can’t read) Oh, it’s a tribute album, sir. It’s bands like (Popular Alt-Rock Band) and (Popular Hard/Heavy Band) doing their version of (Punk Band)’s songs.

Him: Well, I wanna return it.

Me: I’m sorry sir, but due to copyright laws, I am unable to take that back.
(his glower starts to get dark and ominous, so I add:)
There is, however, a (Local chain music store that my brother works at) just down the road that has a great exchange policy!
(His lady is nodding and smiling as I say this, but his glower darkens some more)

Him: Whatever. (mumbles about my resemblance to a female canine)

Me: I’m sorry I wasn’t able to help!

He picks up the CD and case, and turns to leave. He walks about 5 steps, turns back to me, and to the astonishment of me and his lady, SMASHES the CD over his knee. He then proceeds to jump up and down on the broken bits, chanting “Not (Band Name)” over and over.

Me:(Flabberghasted)…Sir, Please stop!

I then duck as he whips the empty case in my general direction, still chanting “Not (Band Name)!!” and jumping up and down on the slivers of CD. (I’m fine, he missed the 4 ft wide by 8 ft tall “window” and hit the stockroom door next to it.)

His lady, not having any of this, ducks out the front doors yelling “Unh, UNH!! You WALK home mister!”
Store Security rolls up, just as gobsmacked me fumbles for my walkie to call them, and invites the man to cool his heels in the security office until the cops show up. Super-Cool Supervisor is on Security’s heels.

Super-Cool Supervisor: You OK? Did that CD case hit you?

Me: Nah, missed. I…

SCS: Go have a smoke, kiddo. I’ll authorize an extra break. What a whackadoodle!

Me: Yep, it’s definitely the day before my vacation.