You’ve Been Marked  

(I have just gotten off of work and need to stop by the grocery store for a few things. During my work shift, a coworker finds a marker we use to check for counterfeit money and draws all over me with it. I am very pale so it is easily visible.)

Small Child: “Mommy, look at that lady! She’s got stuff on her face!”

Parent: “It’s rude to point, sweetie.”

Small Child: “But look! She looks like she’s got the chickenpox!”

(The lady finally looks up to see the marker all over my face and screams.)

Parent: “You should be ashamed of yourself! How dare you come out in public, let alone to work in such a horrid condition? You probably just infected this entire store, you filthy heathen!”

(The lady picks up her child and runs screaming from the store. After a long day of dealing with people just as crazy, I merely go back to shopping. However, an employee approaches me, having heard the commotion.)

Employee: “I’m sorry, is everything okay over here?”

Me: “Yeah, some crazy lady thought I was diseased and took off.”

Employee: “If you don’t mind my asking… what’s all over your face?”

Me: “Do you guys have those counterfeit markers here?”

Employee: “Yes…”

Me: “My coworker got bored.”

Employee: “Oh! Right… Yeah, that would do it. Have a great day!”