(My sister and I go out to dinner at a fast food chain. It’s almost empty, save for us and a small family. My sister gets a baked potato as a side. When we get our food, the cashier notices something.)

Cashier: “Oh, s***! There’s no chives!”

Sister: “Oh, that’s fine. I don’t really care for them.”

Cashier: “What? Are you sure? We can get you something else if you want.”

Sister: “Nah, it’s not a big deal. It’s fine how it is.”

Cashier: “All right, uh, okay. Usually people throw a fit about this stuff.”

Sister: “Oh yeah, I used to work at [Other Chain]. We got them all the time.”

(The cashier insisted on refunding half my sister’s food, but she refused to accept it.)

(Our store has a rule prohibiting workers from swearing while on shift. Nearly everyone, however, including the managers, tend to ignore this rule. I, as a bit of a rules-stickler and also opposed to swearing on moral grounds, have tried several times to remind people that the rule exists. At one point, I write a note using a dry erase marker on an unoccupied metal counter, hoping to remind not just my shift, but shifts after me.)

My Note: “A reminder: Both cell phone usage and profanity while on the clock is prohibited by company policy.”

(A few minutes later, one of the worst offenders notices the note and writes something under it.)

Coworker: “Hey, [My Name]! Guess what I wrote!”

Me: *dryly* “I’m going to hazard a guess at something like, ‘Forget this; I’ll say what I want,’ only with more profanity.”

Coworker: “Um, actually, it’s ‘F*** that; I’ll say what I want.'”

(He then proceeded to erase both the note and the response, rendering my efforts basically fruitless. Thankfully, he has since found employment elsewhere.)

(I’m eight years old and on a school trip to a nearby city. Some of the girls and I in my class are in a small shop, looking at various trinkets. I’m looking at some small glass figurines when I notice that one of them is broken: a crab that is missing one of its claws. Concerned that someone might buy it without realising it is broken, I bring it to the shop owner, just to make her aware of it.)

Me: “Excuse me; I just wanted to let you know that this crab is broken. A claw is missing.”

Shop Owner: *looks at the crab* “Oh, you’re right.”

(She looks over at the other girls from my class, who are in a nearby room, looking at things and not aware of us talking. Then she smiles at me:)

Shop Owner: “Tell you what, if you keep this to yourself, I’ll give it to you.”

(She then proceeds to carefully wrapping the figurine in some tissue paper before handing it to me. Surprised and very grateful, I accept it and profusely thank her for it, before gently putting it in my small handbag, with a smile. As an eight year old, that meant a lot to me. I’m 32 now, but I still have the glass crab and remember the story fondly.)

(My boss, while technically sound, has no experience with managing people, and tends to be a “do what I tell you” type of guy. On returning from two weeks off…)

Boss: “Where are you with [project]?”

Me: “I haven’t made much progress, I’m afraid.”

Boss: “What? Why not?”

Me: “Er… I’ve been covering for your job the last two weeks.”

Boss: “Not good enough. [Manager] expects to see progress. No excuses.”

Me: *getting frustrated* “If your job was so easy to do, I could do it alongside everything I do and still complete the project. What exactly would be the point of you?”

Boss: “[Manager] has been talking to someone in another office. They have far more experience in your specialty, and they are desperate for a job.”

Me: “Hire him, then.”

Boss: “What?”

Me: “I said give him my job. I have another offer on the table; we are still working out the details, but it is an offer.”

Boss: *suddenly speechless* “I, err, no, I mean, all I was trying to say was how important this project is.”

Me: “It sounded like you were threatening me. Frankly I wanted to do right and finish my role here, but if you do have someone lined up then, perfect.”

Boss: “…”

Me: “Right, I have work to do. Was there anything else?”

Boss: “…No.”

(The discussion for the new job took a lot longer than initially thought, so I worked a few more months before handing in my notice. However, I never saw my eager replacement.)

(I’m a part of a team of receptionists for a large company. My supervisor recently had me create a test about certain information we all should know, so when I received this test recently to take, I naturally thought there was a mistake and called my lead. Note: the test in question is predominately multiple choice and true/false.)

Me: “Hi, I just wanted to make sure I’m supposed to take this test, considering I wrote it and all.”

Lead: “Sure! Everyone is.”

Me: “But… I wrote it. I created all the answers.”

Lead: “Well, why not try taking it as if you’ve never seen it before!”

Me: “So… you want me to deliberately give the wrong answers?”

Lead: “No, no. Just change them up! Answer them differently than you did when you made the test!”

Me: “…Right. You know I still have the answer key, right?”

Lead: “You can’t use that! It’d be cheating. Just take the test and send it in.”

Me: “Okay. Whatever you say.”

(Probably needless to say, I got all the answers right.)