Bad boss and coworker stories

Color Her Stupid

| Working | June 8, 2012

(Note: I’m an albino woman eating at a family restaurant. After our waitress serves us our bread, this exchange happens.)

Waitress: “Excuse me, ma’am, but I think it’s a bad idea to bleach your hair.”

Me: “Oh, I don’t bleach it. It’s naturally white.”

Waitress: “Huh?”

Me: “I’m an albino. I was born with white hair.”

Waitress: “Oh, my god that is so hilarious!” *begins laughing uncontrollably*

(Not surprisingly, I found out a week later she had been fired.)

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He’s Gond(a)wana Check That Math

| Working | June 8, 2012

(I work at a Dinosaur-themed park. One day, my coworker and I are joking about how we had miscounted something.)

Me: “It can’t be my fault. I just took calculus.”

Coworker: “That could be it. I took calculus two years ago.”

(At this point, our supervisor walks over.)

Supervisor: “What are you talking about?”

Me: “Math?”

Supervisor: “Oh…like, if two dinosaurs leave Pangaea at the same time heading in opposite directions, and a slasher can run 45 miles per hour and an Apatosaurus weighs 16,000 pounds…where will they meet?”

Coworker and I: *in unison* “In the middle of the ocean.”

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Not Getting To The Meat Of The Problem

, | Working | June 7, 2012

(I’ve just picked up some burgers for dinner, only to get home to find there is something wrong with the double cheeseburger I ordered. I return to the restaurant.)

Me: “Hey, there’s a little something missing from my double cheeseburger.”

(I unwrap it to show only a bun with cheese in between it; there’s no meat or condiments.)

Employee: *looks at the burger* “Sir, what is missing? This looks right to me.”

Me: “Uh, the hamburger. It’s a double cheeseburger without any hamburger.”

Employee: “Did you order it this way? If that’s how your ordered it, there isn’t anything I can do.”

Me: “No, I ordered a double cheeseburger.”

(I show the receipt which confirms this.)

Employee: “Okay…”

(The employee walks back, but only brings out a regular cheeseburger.)

Me: “I had a double cheeseburger.”

Employee: “Oh.”

(The employee turns back, but comes out with two cheeseburgers.)

Me: “No, a double cheeseburger, not two cheeseburgers.”

(Finally, a shift manager walks over.)

Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

Me: “I ordered a double cheeseburger, and instead received a cheeseburger with only a bun and cheese.”

Manager: “If that’s how you ordered it, there is nothing we can do.”

Me: “I ordered a DOUBLE cheeseburger; this is a cheese BUN. There is no burger in my double cheeseburger.”

Manager: “Oh, I understand. Sorry, sir.” *hollers to the back* “Double cheeseburger, with no burger!”

(I told him to just forget it, and took the two single cheeseburgers!)

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Intel Outside, Nothing Inside

| Working | June 7, 2012

(My new copy of a certain popular video game isn’t working, so I call it in to tech support.)

Me: “Hello, is this [game name] support? My game won’t install on my computer. Can you help?”

Employee: “Of course sweetie, of course. First of all, you have the PC version, right? What kind of computer do you have?”

Me: “Ah, it’s a Windows 7 machine, on an Intel Core i7—”

Employee: “Oh, sorry darling, but we don’t support those Intel things, just PCs! I hope you can take it back!”

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This Boss Is A Lost Cause

| Working | June 7, 2012

(I work in a popular park for mountain bikers. We neighbor another park that many bikers use to access some of our trails. Because they have to make several turns on a road that has no signage, so people often get lost. I’m working on a project to order new signs, and I thought we could put some direction signs up in the neighboring park to show people how to get to our trails.)

Me: “So, at the two road intersections, I was going to put signs up with arrows pointing to our trailhead.”

Boss: “Well, most people use the trail that avoids the road to get up to our property.”

Me: “Yes, but if people know where that trail is, then they probably know where they’re going. We want to put signs up for first time users and beginners, right?”

Boss: “Oh, no! We don’t want to encourage those types of people to use our trails. They are the most likely to get lost!”

Me: “Isn’t that why we’re putting up signs?!”

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