Well, At Least You Asked First

I’ve been sick for about a week and have gotten several scam calls during this period — all appearing to be from the same scam effort. As my condition declines, so too does my tolerance for bulls***, culminating in this call.

Scammer: “Hello, sir, this is Microsoft Tech Support. I’m calling to—”

Me: “Could I ask you to stop right there?”

Scammer: “Sir?”

I move the phone away from my mouth for a moment for a sneeze that leaves my ears ringing like a gunshot.

Scammer: “Gesundheit.”

Me: “Thank you. One question: are you allowed to hang up on someone if they’re being abusive?”

Scammer: “I… Yes, sir.”

Me: “Glad to hear it. Now, I know it’s a scam, and I’m sick of you f***ers wasting my time while I’m trying to R&R. How many of you guys do I have to call a**holes before you add me to the do-not-call list?”

Scammer: “…Good day, sir.” *click*

I stopped getting calls running that scam.