Updates Berates

(My husband and I own and live at a guesthouse, which he runs as I have my own job. However, I work from home so I answer the guesthouse phone if he’s not there. We get a lot of telemarketers calling, but their products or services are aimed at big businesses, which we’re not.)

Me: “Good morning, [Guesthouse]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, can I please speak to [Husband]?”

Me: “Sorry, he’s not in at the moment. Can I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, please. I’m looking for the person who’s in charge of buying hardware.”

Me: “That would be me, but we’re a small company so we’re not interested in what you’re selling.”

Caller: “I’m not selling anything. But even as a small company, you must have a fax machine, laptops, etc…”

Me: “We have some equipment obviously, but I’m still not sure what it is you want.”

Caller: “Well, we help you replace anything that’s broken with regards to your hardware.”

Me: “No, thanks. We’re a two-man business, so if something breaks, we just go to [Major Electronics Store] and replace it ourselves.”

Caller: “Well, can I get your name and email address so I can send you updates?”

Me: “Updates on what? I’ve just said we’re not interested in what you’re selling.”

Caller: “I’m not selling anything! We just need your email address to send you updates.”

Me: *getting frustrated now* “No, thanks. I don’t want to be spammed.”

Caller: “We do not spam! We’ve been around for two decades so we don’t need to spam!”

Me: “I’m still not sure what you need our email address for. What are these ‘updates’ you keep mentioning? I’m not giving you our email address and we’re not interested in whatever it is you’re offering.”

Caller: “Never mind, I’ll just speak to [Husband].”

Me: “It’s not going to help you. I’m his wife, and he’s going to tell you exactly the same thing.”

Caller: “Well, I’ve done my job!” *click*