Too Chicken To Assume Otherwise

(My family has just gotten several baby chickens as pets, a rare occurrence since we live in the suburbs. One evening, I take a half hour to hold some of them and let them wander around outside of their coop for a bit. The next day, I’m chatting with a friend.)

Friend: “So, what have you been up to?”

Me: “Nothing much. Though last night I went out and played with a couple of my chicks.”

Friend: “You… what?”

Me: *thinking the concept of chickens in suburbia has simply thrown them off guard* “They’re just so cute, you know? And the way they always try to get your attention. I really wanted to take all of mine out, but a few would’ve run off.”

Friend: *horrified* “[My Name]!”

Me: *realization dawning* “No! I meant my chickens! Not… that!”

(For the record, I’m female, straight, and have not yet been on a date.)