This Stuff Shouldn’t Phase(r) You Any More

(In our store we order our products by scanning the shelf labels with a device that shoots a laser to read the barcode. I’m in the refrigerated juice section of the store and have just scanned a label when a middle-aged customer walks up to me.)

Customer: “Excuse me. Did you just do what I think you did?”

Me: “I’m just ordering something.”

Customer: *wide-eyed* “Did you just taser that orange juice?”

(I look at the scanner in my hand.)

Me: “Um, if you mean I scanned it, then, I guess so.”

Customer: “Well, it looks like it’s not moving so it must have worked. Great job!”

(After the customer happily wanders away my coworker, who saw the whole thing, comes up to me)

Coworker: “Maybe you should set it to ‘stun’ next time.”