The Numbers Are Shrimping

Customer: “How many of these shrimp come in a pound?”

Me: “There are about thirteen to fifteen shrimp in a pound.”

Customer: “I only want a pound. Don’t go over. I’ll take fifteen.”

I start to count out fifteen shrimp, working to pick ones that will get him close to a pound.

Customer: “I don’t want that smaller one! I want this big one!”

Me: “The bigger shrimp will put it closer to thirteen rather than fifteen.”

Customer: “Oh, I see! You’re trying to short me by giving me the smallest shrimp!”

Me: “Sir, they’re sold by the pound. A pound will always cost the same no matter how many shrimp.”

Customer: “Keep them! I don’t want anything from someone trying to cheat me! You do you!”

He stormed off.