The Lights Are On But No One’s Home

(I am working late from home so I order a pizza from a well-known chain for me and my husband. I place the order online. 45 minutes later I receive a phone call from an unknown number.)

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “This is [Pizza Place]. Where do you live?”

Me: “Uh…” *gives address* “You can ring the buzzer with [address number] on it when you get here.”

Caller: “What street?”

Me: “It’s [Street].”

Caller: “Okay. Will be there soon.”

Me: “Great! See you then!”

Caller: “No! We’re here now. We’ve waited 10 minutes!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Caller: “We’re here now. Why are you not home?”

Me: “I’m sorry? I am home. Let me come outside. You are here right now?”

Caller: “Yes. We wait!”

(I run downstairs and see a car parked out front. A woman gets out of the car and hands me my pizza.)

Me: “I’m sorry; I didn’t know you rang the buzzer. I didn’t hear it.”

Caller: “We didn’t ring the bell.”

Me: “…Why not?”

Caller: “We thought you weren’t home.”

(I was too shocked to respond to that. The kicker? I asked for $5 back and she said they don’t carry change.)