That’s Cardly A Reasonable Request

Me: “Good evening. You’re through to [Bank] Customer Services. How can I help?”

Customer: “Hi. I lost my debit card and was wondering if you can help.”

Me: “Okay. Can I just take your name, account number, and [security information] to verify you?”

Customer: “Yep, that’s [details].”

Me: “Thank you. Looking at your account, I can see a note here from [Branch]. They found your card in one of the ATM machines and it’s available for collection at the Customer Services desk when the branch is next open.”

Customer: “Great. I’ll collect it tomorrow.”

Me: “Well, as tomorrow is Saturday, the branch is closed for the weekend. Also, as Monday is a bank holiday, the branch won’t be open again until Tuesday morning at nine am.”

Customer: “But I really need my card. Can’t someone just go into the branch tomorrow and wait for me to come get my card?”

Me: “I’m afraid not. The branch cannot be opened outside of normal working hours.”

Customer: “I want to go drinking with my friends over the weekend. I need money.”

Me: “We can arrange for you to withdraw funds at an ATM without needing your card. Would you like me to organise that now?”

Customer: “No, I want my card. I don’t understand why someone can’t just wait in the branch for me.”

Me: “To be clear, you want someone to go into the branch, on their day off, and wait indefinitely for you to collect your card, all without pay?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “But I need my card!”