A Textbook Case Of Crazy

(I work at an IT help desk at a university. We process requests for usernames and passwords to access the IT systems by hand, for which a current student ID is necessary, as well as a completed form with their details. A woman approaches me with a form.)

Woman: “Here’s my application for a username and password.”

Me: “Right. Can I please see your student ID?”

Woman: “All the information you need is on that form.”

Me: “Actually, you’ve missed out the section that asks for the student ID number. If you show me yours, I’ll fill it in for you.”

Woman: “Gah! All the information you need is there! I just want a username and password!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we need proof that you’re a student here before we can give you access to the IT systems.”

Woman: “I am a student!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but the rules are very clear; I can’t process these applications without a current student ID.”

Woman: “This is ridiculous. Honestly, is this the University of Fascism? I’m a student, and I’m taking a degree in Scientology. Look, here’s my textbook!”

(She holds out an old copy of the Dianetics book. My head is beginning to spin a little; obviously there’s no such thing as a degree in Scientology, unless we were in fact the Hubbard College of Administration International. Even they would still require ID! At this point my manager, who has been hovering, decides to intervene.)

Manager: “I’m [Manager], the help desk supervisor. Please try not to get too upset, but this university doesn’t offer a degree in Scientology, and that is not a textbook. You’re obviously not a student here. Is there something else we can do to help you? Someone we could call to come and help you?”

Woman: “Hah! You’re the one who needs help! You don’t know anything about the place you work! I feel sorry for you. I really do, but I’m still going to report you to the Vice Chancellor, and you’ll lose your job because you’re crap at your job and you’re stupid!”

(She storms off. My manager and I look at each other for a few stunned moments and then she says:)

Manager: “I think I’ll just give the VC’s office a call. They might need a heads-up.”