Tell Me No More, Tell Me No More

(It’s the first day back from school. Our middle school is set up to prepare us for high school, so we switch classes a few times a day with different students in the classes. It’s the last period of the day.)

Teacher: “We’ll go around the room and tell the class what we did over summer vacation.”

(By this point I’m annoyed with the request. I am known for my short temper and lashing out with little to no provocation.)

Me: “Can we skip this please?” *I start to point around the room* “[Six ‘popular’ girls] laid on the beach ogling guys, getting their tan on, and belittling anyone who wasn’t a size two on the beach. [Five ‘gangsters/tough guys’] got arrested for drugs or some other dumb s*** they thought they could get away with. [Two ‘skater’ kids] went to the skate park every day. [Five ‘gamer’ kids] spent their summer playing whatever new video game just came out, yelling for their mommies any time they wanted something but didn’t want to get up to get it themselves,. And [four jocks] spent the summer playing for whatever sports team they play on all summer. Everyone does the same thing every f****** summer so there’s no point in subjecting us to this crap every year!”

Teacher: “[My Name], that’s inappropriate for school!”

Me: “Anyone please stand up and tell me I’m wrong!”

(No one stands up or even says a word.)

Me: “Okay. Can we please move on?”

Teacher: “Maybe you’ll enlighten the class with what you did?”

Me: “I worked and adopted a kitten. How about you get to teaching now?”

Student: *under his breath* “How can someone with a kitten be so grumpy?”