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Paid In Fool

| Working | February 2, 2013

(I am in line when this happens to the customer in front of me, who is ordering an expensive piece of custom-made equipment.)

Customer: “I’m going to go ahead and order that, and I’ll pay cash today.”

Cashier: *enters order* “Okay, I’ll just need a credit card on file, in case we’re not able to contact you when it comes in.”

Customer: “I’m paying cash. Why do you need a credit card?”

Cashier: “Well, I’m not saying you WOULD do this, but what if we place the order and you don’t come to pick it up and pay? We have to have a way to collect. This is a custom order.”

Customer: “I’m PAYING CASH, IN FULL, TODAY. Why do you need a credit card?”

Cashier: “I just really don’t have any way to process the order without a credit card!”

(This went on for several more rounds. He eventually had to get a manager to authorize him just to take this guy’s cash!)

Ho-bout You Stop Judging Me

| Working | January 24, 2013

(I am an IT professional. While I make a very good living, the dress code at work is pretty casual, and I dress VERY casually. Asa female, I’ve found that the men I work with and help take me a little more seriously if I’m a bit frumpy. Still, as a well-paid woman into girly things, I own expensive accessories. I stop into a local sporting goods store after work and am looking at some expensive gloves.)

Employee: “Hi, can I help you with anything today?”

Me: “No thanks, I think I know what I’m looking for. I’ll let you know if I need anything.”

Employee: “We have some cheaper gloves over here.”

Me: “Really, I researched what I was looking for online. I need something thin with moisture control. I’m pretty sure these are what I’m looking for  I’ll let you know if I have any questions.”

Employee: “Those are pretty expensive. If you just need some gloves, we have much cheaper options over this way.”

Me: “I don’t just need gloves; I need lightweight gear for running in cold temperatures. Again, I researched what I need online: gloves, pants, tops, socks, and other items. I’ll let you know if I have any questions.”

Employee: *into her headset* “Can we get security over to the glove display near the register?”

Me: “…Did you just call security on me? Why would you do that? I’ve been nothing but polite to you, and am just trying to shop.”

Employee: “You look like a hobo, and you OBVIOUSLY don’t work out. You’re just trying to steal stuff from us.”

(At this point, the manager shows up, presumably as backup for Employee #1.)

Manager: “Hey, I heard you needed some help. What can I help you with?”

Me: “Nothing. I am trying to shop for winter running gear, and your little associate here decided that I am a ‘ hobo’ who is trying to steal from you. I know what I need, and so far, I have been perfectly able to find it on my own  While I told her, twice, that I would let her know if I needed help, she decided I was a threat worthy of calling security, and, on top of that, insulted me. I’m leaving now—WITH NO STOLEN MERCHANDISE—and you can explain to her why you lost a sale that would have been a couple hundred dollars.”

(As I’m saying this, the manager looks me over and realizes, despite my frumpy appearance, some of the accessories I’m wearing are clearly not ‘hobo’-like in nature.)

Manager: *to me* “I am so incredibly sorry. Please don’t leave over this misunderstanding.” *to the employee* “You see her bag? If you knew ANYTHING, you would know that this purse cost at least $500. The earrings she is wearing are clearly real diamonds, and she’s wearing shoes that cost at least $150. Even if all that were not obvious, you have no right to call our customers hobos or insult them in any other way.  Go away and let her shop in peace.”

Employee: *slinks away* “Knock offs!”

(Thankfully, the manager found everything on my list, and I scored a very nice discount for my hassle!)

Honesty Is The Best Policy

| Right | December 27, 2012

(Note: this occurs right after Christmas.)

Customer: “Where is my order? I placed it Friday night and I chose Next Day Air, but I waited all day on Saturday and the deliveryman never showed up!”

Me: “Ma’am, [delivery company] does not deliver on weekends. Our shipping policy also clearly states that all processing times and shipping times are in business days.”

Customer: “I don’t have time to read your stupid shipping policy! You guys should have known what I wanted and told me if my order wasn’t going to be here Saturday!”

Me: “We can only process orders based on information provided to us. If you had noted in the comments that you needed it by Christmas, we could have called you notified you that it would not have been possible.”

Customer: “Don’t argue with me! I’m the stupid customer! I just press the buttons, give you my money, and you need to make it work!”

Let’s Hope He’s Just Horsing Around

, , , , | Working | September 4, 2012

(I’m looking for equipment for my horse, and although it’s unlikely, I decide to try a local sporting goods store. I’m female and the employee is male.)

Me: “Hey, is there any chance you have whips or riding crops?”

Employee: “Try an adult store.”

Me: “No, it’s for my horse.”

Employee: *smirks* “Yeah, try an adult store.”

Me: “I meant an actual horse, not a human. Anyway, guess you don’t have any. Thanks, though!”

Employee: “I know what you mean.” *winks* “Hey, if you ever need a new horse, try me.”

Me: “Um, no, thanks.”

(I got out, quickly!)

This story is part of our Horse roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

10 Stories About People Who Are Too Stupid To Own Pets


Read the next Horse roundup story!

Read the Horse roundup!


Check Out The Living Minerals Aisle

| Right | August 14, 2012

(I work in the fishing department at a sporting goods store. We usually get calls asking our opinion on what equipment to use.)

Caller: “Hi, is this the fishing department?”

Me: “Yes, sir. How may I help you?”

Caller: “I need to know the best rod and reel to use to catch a rocktail fish.”

Me: “Where is it you are trying to catch it?”

Caller: “Oh, it’s a fish in Runescape. So, what should I use?”

(Note: I don’t play Runescape, but know that it’s a computer game.)

Me: “Sir, are you asking advice on what rod/reel to catch a digital fish?”

Caller: “Oh… I didn’t really think this through, did I?”