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It’s All Downhill From Here

| Right | July 23, 2013

(I’m a customer buying ski boots at a store, when I over hear a conversation between another customer and a clerk.)

Customer: “Yes, I bought these ski boots a week ago, but they are faulty!”

Clerk: “I’m sorry about that, what seems to be the problem with them?”

Customer: “These locks won’t hold; they keep opening up!”

Clerk: “Would you let me see the boots, please?”

(The customer hands to the boots to the clerk, and he fastens the locks and can’t find anything wrong with them.)

Clerk: “I’m sorry, miss; the locks seem to work all fine. Could you explain more how they won’t hold?”

Customer: “Well of course they hold when you put them so tight to third position! Put them to first position and you’ll see! They won’t hold locked!”

Clerk: “But wouldn’t the ski boots be too loose for you to wear then?”

Customer: “Just put the locks to the first position and you’ll see!”

(The clerk puts the locks to the first position, and they do ‘fall off’.)

Customer: “See, these are faulty!”

Clerk: “But miss, these locks are used to fasten the boot around your foot. They are supposed to be put tight and not left loose.”

Customer: “But if I want to wear them on the first position, I should be able to do that! Why is there the first position anyway, if I can’t use it, huh? You tell me why? I won’t get full usage for my money if I can’t use all the positions!”

Clerk: “Every person has a little bit different sized feet and that’s why the locks are adjustable. The point is not to use all the positions of the lock but to adjust the ski boot to match your feet.”

Customer: “But what if I want to use the first position? Now I can’t; these boots are faulty!”

Clerk: “I can take these back if you wish, but I have to tell you that you will have the exact same problem with every other ski boot, too. The idea is to find the adjustment good for your feet, not to use all the positions.”

Customer: “I want to return these, they’re faulty! You should be ashamed of yourselves selling this kind of faulty items!”

(I can’t help giggling, and the other customer gives me some nasty glances. The customer then takes a call, I presume from her boyfriend/husband.)

Customer: “They’re taking the boots back, but are you sure this is right? The other customers are laughing at me… Of course hun… Yeah I know, they probably don’t know anything about skiing. I’m glad the fault was found this quickly. I can’t believe they would sell something like this. Okay, I gotta go; the clerk’s coming back.”

Clerk: “Here’s your money miss. And I’m sorry you weren’t satisfied with the product.”

Customer: “Well, you should be. But thanks, anyway. I’ll go buy my boots somewhere else!”

(The customer then turns and leaves. The clerk and I have a laugh at the story. I reserve the boots until next day for myself. They are really good, but I still want to try some other boots, too. I go to another sporting store and I see the same customer in there. She is giving them a hard time about the lock positions. She accuses the clerk of being incompetent, and that her boyfriend knows everything about skiing, and that she should be able to use which ever position she wants on the locks.)

Cease-Fire Is Over When You Can’t Be Fired

, , | Right | April 18, 2013

(I am working my very first shift at a new job. The coworker training me has stepped out to make a call. A middle-aged customer comes up to the counter looking cross. As he does a young woman comes through the door and sees him.)

Young Woman: “Oh, no! Oh, no, no, no! No you don’t!”

(The man turns around to face her in shock.)

Young Woman: “Not a chance! You came in here every single day for a year just to bully and ridicule me! You made me wait on you hand and foot, and complained the whole time, and you’ve yet to actually buy anything! Every day that you came in here — and made my life h*** — I went home and cried! You are nothing but a mean, pathetic loser, and I’ll be d***** if I let you treat this poor girl the way you treated me!”

Customer: “EXCUSE ME? YOU WILL BE FIRED FOR THIS YOU WORTHLESS B****!”

Young Woman: “Nope, not this time a**-hole! I don’t work here anymore. I got into college. I’m going to make something of myself. Now you go back to your sad angry little life, and don’t you dare harass anyone who works here again!”

(The man turns red, but leaves. The woman comes up to the counter smiling brightly.)

Young Woman: “Hey, you must be the new girl! I used to work here; just dropped by to pick up my last pay-check.”

(She notices my shocked expression.)

Young Woman: “I’ve been bottling that up for a long time. He shouldn’t bother you again.”

He Jumped The Gun

| Right | March 31, 2013

(A man bursts through the doors in a panic.)

Man: “Did you need me to call the police?”

(I am very confused.)

Me: “What?”

Man: “That must have been terrifying! How much did he take?”

Me: “Sir, I’m not sure what you’re talking about. Slow down.”

Man: “I was walking down the street when I saw a guy walk out of here carrying a gun!”

(I stare at him for several seconds.)

Me: “Sir, have you looked around? Did you see our sign on the way in?”

Man: “No, why?”

Me: “Sir, this is a gun store. He bought it here.”

Miss Management (Not Mrs)

| Right | February 14, 2013

(A couple comes up to my checkout with a large amount of sporting goods.)

Me: “Wow, looks like someone’s getting all their holiday shopping taken care of. Your total is [over $200].”

Customer: “Ugh, no, it isn’t. My husband here is a manager with your company, so we get the employee discount.”

Me: “Okay…” *leans over to the paging system* “Manager to register two, please.”

Customer: *surprised* “Why did you just call a manager?”

Me: “Because you said you and your husband were getting the employee discount.”

Customer: “Oh, what, and you don’t believe me? You think my husband can’t be a manager because we’re [race], is that it?!”

Me: “Huh? What are you talking about?”

Customer: “I’m talking about you calling the manager on us because you’re a f***ing racist. I’ll have you know we drive a BMW and have a lot more money than anyone here, especially a minimum wage nobody like you!”

(She goes on verbally attacking me, insulting my appearance, and just sounding generally crazy. Her husband is quietly standing behind her looking very nervous, but puts a restraining hand on her when she threatens to come behind the counter and teach me a lesson. At some point, the manager I paged approaches the counter.)

Manager: “Hey, how come you called?”

Customer: “Are you the manager? I have a complaint! Your employee here is a racist and should be fired for discrimination!”

Manager: “What happened?”

Customer: “Little-Miss-Hair-In-Her-Face over here called a manager when I told her my husband was getting the employee discount. We shop here all the time and we’ve never been treated with such disrespect.”

Manager: “Okay. Well, we can give you a discount once we get this cleared up.”

Customer: *shoots a smug nasty look at me*

Manager: “So, since you shop here all the time and work for our company, of course you know that in order to get checked out with an employee discount a store manager has to enter his number and authorization code. Now, I just need his employee number and you’re set.”

Customer: “…What?”

Manager: “The employee identification number, we all have one in our system. He does have one, right?”

Customer: “When I said he worked here, I was just kidding. But she called a manager because she’s a racist!”

Manager: “No, you weren’t kidding. You were trying to scam her. She called me because she was following the procedure to prevent people like you from getting away with it. I’m voiding your transaction. Please leave.”

Customer: “Oh, yeah? We’ll go to the news! Once everyone hears how racist this place is your store will be shut down!”

(The customer’s husband, who has been frozen in silence up until this point, suddenly speaks up.)

Husband: “No, you absolutely will not. You’ve already embarrassed us enough and dragged me into your bull****. Don’t even think about dragging me onto TV! I like this store. Now how am I supposed to show my face here? It’s bad enough to have a crazy, meana** girlfriend who lies like she breathes, but every time I take you out I’m lucky if the cops don’t get called. Now get in my crappy Volvo everyone can see from the window. I’m taking you home!”

(Just as the customer’s ‘husband’ said, he was not only not an employee, but he wasn’t even married to her. He came back to the store a few days later and apologized for her behavior, and told us he had dumped her that evening. Because he was so nice about it my manager told him he wasn’t banned, and when the guy tried to purchase some of the items he’d been trying to pick up the last time my manager gave him a small discount.)


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Sexists Should Quiver, Because We’re Aiming For You

| Working | February 4, 2013

(I am female, and I go to the store to pick up a new compound bow string because mine has snapped. I am also looking at getting a longbow just for fun.)

Employee: “It’s real nice of you to run errands for your boyfriend like this.”

Me: “…First of all, I’m single. Second of all, you do realize you don’t need a penis to have an interest in archery, right?”

Employee: “Well, it’s all well and good to be interested, but women are no good at this kind of thing.”

Me: “Please just tell me where I can find what I’m looking for.”

Employee: “No! You’re a girl; you can’t have that stuff! It’s for men!”

Me: “Please find me one of your co-workers. Preferably someone with a brain.”

Employee: “You’re just mad ’cause I’m right.”

Me: “You’re welcome to think that while you’re finding me somebody else to help me.”

Employee: “Just tell me what you need…”

Me: “I don’t like repeating myself, so let me make this perfectly clear. You will not be helping me because I have no patience for attitudes like the one you expressed. I can and will do whatever sporting activity that I want to do regardless of your opinion of whether or not women ‘can’ do it. You will accept this, and you will find me somebody who will help me without making such comments and then you will send me your manager. I don’t care what you think, I don’t care what you have to say, I expect when I enter a business establishment that an employee will do their job and you have failed miserably at doing so—something I’ve no intention of putting up with. Now, shoo.”

Employee: *walks away, looking shocked*

(A few minutes later, I am approached by the manager. He tells me the employee claims he has been really nice, and helping me find everything when I started cussing him out for no reason. I tel him what really happened, and this is what happens next.)

Manager: “So, she says that you were being rude. You told her that women can’t use bows because they’re for men, and that all she actually did was to pretty much tell you off. What do you have to say about that?”

Employee: “She’s a lying c*** who needs to learn her f***ing place and that bows and arrows are for men only!”

(He was fired on the spot, not only for what he said but for lying about the incident.)