(I work at a party store that specializes in balloons. We’re basically called “the balloon super store” so we tend to get very busy. It’s around high school graduation time, and we get a lot of balloon orders and we have to deal with idiotic people. We have balloon orders that fill up a basket and people walking in to get orders.)

Customer: *yelling* “I put my balloon order in 20 minutes ago!” *in reality, it was only five*

Me: *as respectful as possible* “I’m sorry, ma’am, we are trying our best to complete all the balloon orders as quickly as possible. If you could try and be patient that would be great.”

Customer: “But I am in a hurry and I have places to be!”

(At this point, she is in my face, and yelling at me, surrounded by other people yelling at me.)

Me: *I show her all the orders we have to do* “Ma’am, we are going as fast as we can. Please be patient.”

(Five minutes later:)

Customer: “I NEED MY BALLOONS DONE NOW!”

Me: *I was more than finished with this woman, so I literally dropped everything that I was doing in front of her* “FINE, I WILL DO YOUR BALLOON ORDER.”

(I start blowing up her balloons, and bag them up.)

Me: “[Customer], your balloons are ready.”

Customer: *starts yelling at me again and says* “THESE ARE THE WRONG COLORS!”

Me: *I’ve lost my patience at this point* “What do you mean they are the wrong colors? What colors were they supposed to be, and why didn’t you tell me when I was blowing them up?!”

Customer: “They are supposed to be black not brown!”

Me: *grabs the scissors – POP POP POP POP POP POP!* “DON’T COME BACK!”

(I’m a supervisor at a retail office supply company that sells web hosting packages to the public. One of the perks of purchasing through our store and not direct from the web host is that the packages come with a setup feature that allows users who don’t know code to click and drag elements onto their page and create a professional looking site.)

Customer: “I want your deluxe web hosting package.”

Coworker: “That’ll be [total], and here’s a print out telling you how you can get started setting up your website at home! If you have any questions, just call the web host’s customer service number and they’ll be happy to help.”

(The client pays for his purchase, then stands at the register and stares at my coworker.)

Coworker: “Was there something else?”

Customer: “Well, obviously. I need to know when you’re going to design my site for me!”

Me: “Sir, those packages are designed so that customers can set everything up from home. That’s what makes them different from a lot of other companies who sell web hosting packages. You don’t need to know any code to set your site up. It’s really very easy and the web host’s customer service agents can help you if you get stuck!”

(The customer becomes angry.)

Customer: “You didn’t tell me I had to do it myself! I paid for a website package! You should set it up FOR me!”

Me: “Sir, what you paid for was the web domain, a custom email, and space on the Internet to display your information about your company. We’re just [Store] employees; we aren’t web designers.”

Customer: “Unacceptable! You can’t just sell website packages to people and expect them to do it themselves!”

(This continues in a similar fashion for several minutes, while my co-worker tries to explain the whole idea of the web host’s package and how it’s user-friendly, even for people without any experience with HTML or CSS. Eventually, I make a decision.)

Me: “Look, we generally aren’t supposed to do this, but we’ll make an exception this time. My associates will help you set up the site, but it costs an additional fee for every half hour they spend working on the site setup.”

(Thankfully we had a miscellaneous $29.99 UPC which we were permitted to use for generic computer repairs at the tech repair desk. This customer ended up paying roughly $1 USD per minute for something he could have easily done himself!)

(I’m busy stocking coolers with fresh food and drinks when I get down on my knees to stock the lowest shelf. I have in my lap the clear plastic tub we use to store food in the storage room which is also keeping the cooler door propped open. This is no problem; it’s light enough and I’m taller than the cooler. As I’m stocking an associate from another department comes up and pulls open the door further which knocks the tub from my lap and I look up at him confused.)

Me: “What are you doing?”

Associate: “What? Helping you? I thought you needed help.”

Me: “No, I got it. It’s fine.” *he continues to hold the door open* “Really.” *he lets go to let it fly back at me but I catch it*

Associate: “So-rry. I was just trying to help you.”

Me: “I’m sorry. I’m just not used to people helping me out, I guess.”

Associate: “The correct response is ‘thank you.’”

(I had a completely different response in my mind that I thought was also correct.)

(My store is located in a mall, and our front tables extend into the public area. The store has a rule that if a customer in the public area walks close enough, you have to greet them in hopes that it’ll lure them into the store. It’s about 6 pm on a Tuesday and I’m in my 20s, so it’s clear to customers that this is my full time job. I’m cleaning the table when a woman – who is a complete stranger to me – passes close enough.)

Me: “Hi, there!”

(The woman stops, looks at me, and walks up.)

Woman: “Working hard there?”

Me: *laughs* “Yeah, I guess.”

Woman: “Because you dropped out and didn’t finish school?”

(My jaw drops. As it happens, I did drop out of school, but I ended up better off than if I had stayed. I’m so shocked that this woman would go up to a stranger and say something so hurtful. My shock and knowledge that going off on her would get me fired makes me panic and lie.)

Me: “Actually, I’m in school at the moment.”

Woman: “Well, then you won’t have to be here much longer.”

(The woman winks and walks away. She looked at nothing in my store, which means she literally just came up to demean me for no reason whatsoever. I later tell my manager what happened.)

Manager: “For the record, you are my best employee. Anyone does that to you again and you have my full blessing to go off on them.”

(It is a week before Christmas. I have found out I have a massive amount of points available at a certain retailer, and decide I’d like to use them on a new perfume I had been wanting for a while.)

Me: “Hi there! Just wondering if you have any more of [Perfume] in stock?”

Associate: “I’m afraid we’re all sold out of that one right now. Was it for a gift or for yourself?”

Me: “Oh, darn, I kinda figured that might happen. There’s no rush; it’s just for myself. Just figured if you had it I’d buy it now. No big deal.”

Associate: “Well, hold on a sec. Let me see what I can do here.”

(She disappears for a moment and comes back with a travel atomizer.)

Associate: “I don’t know if I’d get in trouble for this or not, but in the name of customer service…”

(She takes the atomizer from the package and fills it with the perfume from the tester bottle of the perfume I had wanted.)

Associate: “I know you’re going to buy it anyway, so this way you can wear it now and not have to wait until it comes back in!”

(She only charged me for the price of the atomizer. I thanked her profusely and am really loving this scent! Thank you to this lovely associate for taking a risk to completely going above and beyond!)