What A Concept: Ice Cream That Melts

, | | Right | January 20, 2008

(Hot summer day temperature in the nineties. Tons of people in line because the shop is in an amusement park and everybody wants soft ice cream, which makes the soft ice even softer as it doesn’t have time to chill properly.)

Male customer, who bought soft ice cream for his family 30 min or so earlier, comes up to the window very upset: “The soft ice cream is melting! My kids are a total mess!”

Me: “Well, it is hot outside, what are you gonna do?”

Customer: “You should put up a sign to let people know that it will melt!”

Me: “I don’t assume my customers are idiots.”

(Customer bangs the ice cream cone on the counter and storms off.)

The next customer in line looks at me and laughs: “I’ll guess I’ll just have the regular ice cream then.”

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So This Is Why People Have Kids

, | | Right | January 18, 2008

(It’s Christmas Eve and there is a long line of customers who are now waiting to pay. A little girl cuts to the front while I am giving a guy a drink refill.)

Little girl’s mom (LGM), to the refill guy: “UGH! Did you just cut her?”

(LGM smacks the guy in head; surprisingly, he just walks off with his soda.)

Me: “What can I get you?”

LGM: “Don’t ask me, ask her! She’s your customer; you should be asking her. God, it’s people like you who ruin the holidays!”

Me, to the little girl: “Okay, what would you like?”

(The little girl just stares blankly at me while customers are becoming pissed.)

LGM, coming clean: “Just give me a Diet Pepsi. It’s for me.”

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Repeat After Me: Names Are Your Friends

| | Right | January 14, 2008

Customer: “Can I get a vegetarian burrito with chicken?”

Me: “You mean, a chicken burrito?”

Customer: “Well, what’s in that?”

Me: “Chicken.”

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A Few Beans Short Of A Latte

| | Right | January 13, 2008

Customer: “Excuse me, but I ordered the vegetable soup!”

Me: “Yes ma’am, I know.”

Customer: “I don’t see ANY vegetables in this!”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s because it’s your coffee.”

Customer: “Oh.”

(She was surprisingly nice for the rest of meal and left a hefty tip.)

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You Know You’ve Had Too Much To Drink When …

| | Right | January 12, 2008

Customer: “I’ll have a margarita please.”

(I get a margarita and serve it to the woman.)

Customer: “Excuse me, miss? Can I please have another margarita? This one doesn’t have enough quatilia in it.”

Me: “Ma’am, your drink is strong, I can guarantee it.”

Customer: “How do you know there is enough quatilia in this?”

Me: “Because you said “quatilia.”

Customer: “Yeah, and?”

Me: “It’s called ‘tequila.'”

(Customer face turns a nice shade of crimson.)

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