Doesn’t Quite Cut(lery) It

(We are seated at our table promptly. The table is clean, yet missing place settings. I turn to the waiter, as he is filling our glasses, and request more ‘cutlery.’ A few minutes later he came out of the kitchen with a (very sharp) paring knife.)

Waiter: *laying the knife in front of me* “Can you all share the knife? We only have this one.”

Me: “No, I wanted place settings. You know, dinner knives and forks.”

(After turning red, he grabs the knife and flees to the kitchen, apologizing.)

Me: *to my dinner group* “I’m never using the word ‘cutlery’ again.”

(Later, another of the kitchen staff come out and handed out butter knives to everyone. The rest of the meal was a laughable mess.)