(In English class, our teacher is asking us for some key topics from a short story we’d just read. As we name them, she writes them on the board for further discussion later. One of my classmates mentions vandalism. My teacher writes, ‘vandelism.’ I raise my hand.)

Teacher: “Yes?”

Me: “‘Vandalism’ is spelled with an ‘a’ not an ‘e.'”

Teacher: “I know.”

Me: “Oh. You put an ‘e’ just now.”

Teacher: “Yeah, I know.”

Me: “Well, why didn’t you fix it then? Others here might not know it’s wrong.”

(My teacher sneers at me and moves on to someone else, still failing to correct her spelling error. A few weeks later, my sister’s class, who has the same English teacher, is going over expectations for a peer review. The teacher writes on the board to ‘check for gramatical errors.’ My sister raises her hand.)

Teacher: “Yes?”

Sister: “Were you trying to build irony by spelling ‘grammatical’ wrong?”

(The teacher stops what she’s doing and turns to the class, addressing them in a nasty tone.)

Teacher: “Well. Since SOME of you think you’re smarter than the teacher, you can teach yourselves today!”

(She proceeded to sit at her desk for the entire period, refusing to answer any questions or really acknowledge any of the students.)

(In 1999, I am a high school senior spending my free period in a resource room, researching scholarships. The room is almost empty save for a teacher giving a lone student an oral quiz.)

Teacher: “You used the ‘blank’ to call your friends: A. newspaper, B. telephone or C. microscope?”

Student: “Uh… Microscope!”

Teacher: “…”

Student: “It was back in the day.”

(The teacher is giving a lecture on appropriate essay topics and is listing off several that are common.)

Teacher: “There are plenty of gender based topics such as equality in the military, sex and salary—”

(Before the teacher has a chance to explain the whole class begins laughing because it sounded like he had said ‘sexy celery.’)

Me: *to my friends in a dead-pan voice* “Ow, ow, look at that vegetable.”

(The teacher glared at me as the whole class continued to laugh and it took several minutes before it calmed down.)

(It is the beginning of history class, the first period of the day. The teacher is going over the homework she is passing back. Class technically began about five minutes earlier as the football students walk in late.)

Teacher: “Settle down. Settle down! Just go to your seats. I already know you are late from practice.”

(As she goes to hand the football students their homework, she notices one is wearing a towel instead of pants.)

Teacher: *trying to stifle a laugh* “What in the world are you wearing?!”

Student: “I forgot to bring a change of clothes for after practice.”

(The teacher has to shout because the whole class is realizing that the student has no pants and is talking about it.)

Teacher: “And you couldn’t borrow some shorts or find an extra pair from someone else?!”

Student: “I didn’t have time. I was going to be late to class!”

Teacher: *shaking her head* “I will write you a pass. Now, please go find pants before you return to class.”

(There are two students in the class who are identical twins. One of them has a pair of glasses while the other one doesn’t. There is also a test going on, so the room is silent.)

Twin #1: *hands his glasses to the student next to him* “Pass these to [Twin #2], please.”

Student: *looks at them strangely but passes them along to [Twin #2], who is at the other end of the room*

Twin #2: “Thank you.”

Teacher: “[Twin #1], why did you do that?”

Twin #1: “He asked for them.”

Teacher: “No, he didn’t.”

Twin #2: “Yes, I did!”

(After class the teacher talks to the twin’s mother who has come to pick them up.)

Teacher: “Ma’am, I don’t think that we can allow your twins to be in the same class.”

Mother: “Why not? They’ve always been in the same class.”

Teacher: “Because they can hear each others’ thoughts.”

Mother: “Of course they can! That’s why I had them in the same class!”