The Only Way They Are Going To Eat Their Greens

(The teacher is giving a lecture on appropriate essay topics and is listing off several that are common.)

Teacher: “There are plenty of gender based topics such as equality in the military, sex and salary—”

(Before the teacher has a chance to explain the whole class begins laughing because it sounded like he had said ‘sexy celery.’)

Me: *to my friends in a dead-pan voice* “Ow, ow, look at that vegetable.”

(The teacher glared at me as the whole class continued to laugh and it took several minutes before it calmed down.)