(My mum has been away for a few days, and I am on the phone to her about her time away.)

Me: “Did you have a good journey back?”

Mum: “Well, there was some traffic on the roads.”

Me: “Well, yes, where else would you expect to find traffic?!”

(My boyfriend and I work well together because I’m more on the arts side of things, and he’s more science and math-based. We’re in a long-distance relationship from Seattle to Portland. To keep in touch, I usually text him while he’s at work, and he calls me on the way home. We’re both insufferable nerds.)

Me: *via text* “SODIUM SODIUM SODIUM SODIUM SODIUM SODIUM SODIUM SODIUM SODIUM SODIUM SODIUM SODIUM SODIUM SODIUM SODIUM SODIUM SODIUM SODIUM SODIUM SODIUM SODIUM SODIUM SODIUM SODIUM”

(He calls me on the way home.)

Boyfriend: “What was that?”

Me: “BATMAN!”

Boyfriend: *pause* “Okay, you lost me.”

Me: *sweetly* “Come on, Mr. Science. What’s the chemical symbol for sodium?”

Boyfriend: “Oh. Oh, dear Lord.”

Related:
Chemically Imbalanced

(I’m talking to my boyfriend via text.)

Boyfriend: “Holding this phone is nothing like holding you.”

Me: “I really hope I’m not tiny, flat, gray, cold, and randomly vibrate.”

(My husband is on overseas military deployment. I have just read in the news about an attack close to his station. I email him.)

Me: “Hey hon, if you can, shoot me a message, okay? I’m following the news, and I like hearing you’re all okay. Love you.”

Husband: “I’m just fine. We are safe, and locked up tighter than a greater dire armadillo in defensive mode while battling the nether-hounds of the dark goddess!”

(My long term boyfriend is working on a site in the northern part of the province. Since he’s only home for about 18 hours a week, we do a lot of texting and talking on the phone.)

Text from boyfriend: “I miss you.”

Next text from boyfriend: “…r boobies.”

(I had to wait until I was done laughing to call him.)