Simulationship

(My wife and I are both gamers and she recently bought the latest Sims 3 expansion pack. She has been on the computer every night since she got it, and I am starting to feel neglected.)

Me: *via text message* “When I get home tonight, you will have to decide on what you want to do. Sims 3 which gives you +10 Fun, +5 Social, -10 Energy, -5 Hygiene and -5 Hunger. It also gives you the, ‘1UP’ buff, which gives you +20 Mood and 1 skill point Logic. Or ‘Woo Hoo’, which gives you +15 Fun, +10 Social, -20 Energy, -20 Hygiene and -15 Hunger. It also gives you the, ‘Mmm, That Felt Good’ buff, which gives +25 mood and 1 skill point in Athletic.”

Wife: *also via text message* “Work today gave me +5 Fun, +15 Social, -10 Hygiene, -15 energy and -15 Hunger. It also gave me the ‘Making The Simoleons’ buff, which gives +15 Mood and 1 skill point in Charisma. My energy, hygiene and hunger are already low, but that ‘Mmm, That Felt Good’ buff makes it worthwhile.”

(She didn’t play Sims 3 when I got home.)