Shenando’s And Don’ts

(My high school advanced band is being coached before a concert at a local college. We are working on a song which we have never played in its entirety before that evening, so it kinda sucks. My section consists of me, an accomplished junior, and two seniors, neither of which like criticism or want to be there. An sfz, or sforzando, means to play as loud as possible, or as loud as the style allows, on the indicated note.)

Coach: “Okay, so on [measure], everyone with an sfz on the second beat needs to come in strong. We need to hear that color come out of the texture.”

(We play the rep. I come in on the sfz twice as loud as I need to because I know the rest of my section won’t heed the coach’s advice.)

Coach: “HORN! We are not firebombing the Shenandoah Valley, for goodness sakes! We are gazing over it, looking at the beauty… not DESTROYING IT!”

(Later, my dad, who was at the rehearsal and found this moment to be hilarious, and tries to convince me to start running.)

Dad: “Your lung capacity would be massive if you just ran a few miles each day. Just think: You wouldn’t just firebomb the Shenandoah Valley. You could nuke it.”