She Who Returns The Pants

(A customer approaches me with a return. The store policy is to return the money in the same fashion it was paid, i.e. bought with credit-returned to same credit.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to return this. Here is the receipt.”

Me: “Sure, no problem. Can I have the card that the shirt was bought with?”

Customer: “I don’t understand. My wife paid it off right then. Why do you need the card?”

Me: “Well, the shirt is $39. You paid for it with your [store] card, so I have to return the $39 to your [store] card.”

Customer: “I don’t understand why can’t you just return it.”

Me: “Hold on one minute…”

(I go over to speak with a manager to see if I can just give him cash.)

Me: “Okay, the manager says that if the card has a zero balance, I can return the shirt and give you cash. All I need is your wife’s social security so I can access the account over the phone.”

Customer: “Well, there is no balance. I don’t understand why you can’t just return the shirt. I don’t know where they are coming from.”

(I try to explain one more time about our store policy: I can only give him cash as long as I call and find out if there is no balance.)

Customer: “I’m just going to get my wife. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

(Five minutes later, he returns, accompanied by his wife.)

Me: “Okay, I can explain–”

Customer: “No need. She understands.”

Customer’s wife: *smiles knowingly*

Customer: *laughing “I can’t do anything without the wife.”