My Fairy Ball-Bustin’ Godmother

(My boyfriend and I are on vacation, and have stopped in a little hole-in-the-wall souvenir shop. We are approached by a Tico woman. Note: my boyfriend is Chinese, but speaks fluent Spanish.)

Woman: *in very broken English* “You brother and sister?”

Boyfriend: “No, no. She’s my girlfriend.”

Woman: *confused look*

Boyfriend: “Mi novia.”

(The woman gets a shocked look on her face and begins prattling on in Spanish, which I do not understand. My boyfriend blushes darker and darker as she talks. When she finally stops talking…)

Me: “What did she say?”

Boyfriend: “She said she’ll track me down and castrate me if I ever hurt you.”

Woman, to me: “Good luck, mi amiga bonita!”