(I work for an IT company that provides technical support for IT equipment to customers.)

Me: “Welcome to the [Company] support desk. You’re speaking to [My Name]. How can I help?”

Customer: “My toilet is broken.”

Me: “Sorry, can you repeat that? You called an IT support desk about a toilet?”

Customer: “Yes, my toilet is blocked. Can you fix it remotely?”

Me: “Sorry, sir. I am unable to remote on to your toilet to unblock it. You will need to call a plumber if it is that bad or use a plunger.”

Customer: “You are supposed to be a support desk. You are not being helpful. Don’t you worry. I will call back and get another agent to help.” *click*

(The customer did call back. The manager got on the other agent’s phone, and basically laughed down the phone at the customer, asking if he has turned the toilet off and on again, or reinstalled the cistern.)

Returnaholics Themed Giveaway Roundup! Here’s a final roundup of stories from last month’s themed giveaway!

1. Popped Off (800 thumbs up)
2. Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount (1,246 thumbs up)
3. The Return: Uncut (770 thumbs up)
4. South Of The Border Of Unreason (895 thumbs up)
5. Some Returns Make You Have Kittens (726 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Me: “Good morning. [Law Firm].”

Caller: “I was wondering if [Lawyer] could give me some advice on getting alimony after my divorce.”

Me: “I’m sorry. [Lawyer] does not offer free legal advice. Her hourly rate is [rate], and I can schedule you a meeting for [set price].”

Caller: “I’m not really looking to pay. Can you give me advice?”

Me: “I am not a lawyer, thus am not qualified to give legal advice. I would hate to steer you wrong.”

Caller: “Well, what if I told you what I wanted to know, you asked [Lawyer], took notes, and then you called me back?”

Me: “No, ma’am. I will not do that.”

Caller: “This is very poor customer service!” *hangs up*

(I’m riding a bus watching people get on. One of the passengers walks past the fare box without paying.)

Driver: “Excuse me! Do you have your fare?”

Passenger: “Yeah. Here.” *shows the driver a handful of change*

Driver: “Okay.”

Passenger: “Okay.” *starts walking away again without putting the fare into the box*

Driver: “Excuse me! What about your fare?”

Passenger: *annoyed* “I have it right here!” *shows the handful of change again*

Driver: “The fare goes in the box!”

Passenger: “But I have my fare!”

Driver: “And it goes in the box!”

Passenger: *puts the change into the box, grumbling* “But I have my fare…”

Returnaholics Themed Giveaway Roundup! Here’s a final roundup of stories from last month’s themed giveaway!

1. Popped Off (800 thumbs up)
2. Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount (1,246 thumbs up)
3. The Return: Uncut (770 thumbs up)
4. South Of The Border Of Unreason (895 thumbs up)
5. Some Returns Make You Have Kittens (726 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!