Right-Click Wrong-Click
(I’m twenty minutes into troubleshooting an internet connection.)
Me: “Okay, now right-click on that screen.”
Caller: “Right-click. It’s not working.”
Me: “Just make sure you’re right-clicking for a moment.”
Caller: “I will. Right-click, see nothing happens! Can’t you fix this already?”
(I realize that she is left-clicking on the page for nothing to be happening.)
Me: “Can you click the button on the right-hand side for me?”
Caller: “You clearly don’t know what you’re doing because it’s not working!”
Me: “Do you know your left from your right?”
Caller: “Obviously!”
Me: “Look at your mouse.”
Caller: “I am looking at it.”
Me: “See the button on the left and the button on the right? Click the button on the right.”
Caller: “Oh it worked. I thought you meant your right!”
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