(I am in the kitchen with my sister and mother. I have been trying to explain something to my sister who is just not getting it, so I am frustrated.)

Me: *to sister* “For goodness sake! Talking to you is like talking to…” *trying to think of a word* “…cream!”

Mum: “Your sister’s like cream?!”

Me: “Yeah. It’s thick!”

2-year-old daughter: “I am afraid of dinosaurs.”

4-year-old son: “Don’t worry. There are no dinosaurs left. They lived when mommy and daddy got married.”

(I am leaving a store with my aunt, and have just purchased a small cylindrical container to hold my makeup.)

Aunt: *seeing my purchase* “That’s a nice bucket.”

Me: “Thank you! I like the clear knob on the lid.”

Aunt: “No, that’s a nice bucket!”

Me: “I know! I said thank you…”

Aunt: “No! That’s an ice bucket. A bucket for ice!”