Pizza Versus Tornado, A True Dilemma

(I work in a hotel in a part of the country known for severe storms in the spring. EVERY YEAR we have guests who run the gamut of obliviousness pertaining to this fact. For example:)

Guest: *catching me as I peer out the front doors at the current maelstrom* “Hello! Where can we go for pizza at this hour?”

Me: “Er, ma’am, I wouldn’t recommend driving right now.”

Guest: “Oh, no, we were going to get a taxi! Can you recommend a good service?”

Me: “Ma’am, we are currently under a tornado warning. At any moment we might need to take cover. I could give you the number to a taxi service, but no one is going to show up right now.”

(Or this conversation that happens several times, without fail, every time we lose power…)

Guest: “Excuse me! The lights are out in my room!”

Me: “Yes, sir, the lights are out in every room. The lobby is running on a generator so we can still help guests.”

Guest: “Well, why would the power go out?!”

(I glance outside, where it is raining heavily, with gale-force winds and lightning every few seconds.)

Me: “I would assume the storm, sir.”

Guest: “This is unacceptable! I want to speak to a manager!”

(Thankfully, our managers don’t generally cave to demands of compensation over storms. We’re not compensating you because you visited Tornado Alley in tornado season and — gasp — THERE WAS A TORNADO.)