Not To Sound All Elderly, But… Get Your Nose Out Of Your Phone!

I use a mobility scooter. I arranged to meet a friend for a day out shopping in the town centre, and I arrived early, so I “parked” in front of a newsagent window on the high street, popped in and got a drink, and sat back on my scooter to wait.

I was tucked in against the wall, with around five feet of pavement between me and the road. I was browsing my phone when I became aware of someone right in front of me. I looked up just in time to see a woman walking directly at me while looking at her phone. I didn’t even have time to speak before she crashed into the front of the scooter and sort of collapsed over the tiller right into me.

People came rushing to help — it was a busy Saturday — and she was already screaming at me before they dragged her off of me.

Woman: *Crying* “You drove into me! I’m going to sue you! People like you shouldn’t be allowed out in public!”

People standing around were fussing and checking that I was okay — I was fine — and reassuring me that they had seen everything and would be witnesses. I was gobsmacked as it all happened so fast, but I finally pulled myself together enough to say something as I pulled my scooter keys out of my pocket.

Me: “Hey, lady! How did I hit you when the scooter’s parked and not even switched on?”

She gulped, looked around, saw the crowd of people all glaring at her, grabbed her bags, and stormed off.

I had a lovely story to tell my friend!