No Meat Between The Buns, Or Her Ears

(I have just entered a fast food restaurant and gotten in line when a woman approaches the counter with a burger in hand.)

Cashier: “Hello. Is something wrong with your food?”

Customer: “I ordered a plain cheeseburger!”

(The woman takes apart the burger at the counter to reveal only three ingredients: buns, a patty, and a slice of cheese.)

Cashier: “That is a plain cheeseburger. Did you perhaps want a plain hamburger? Without the cheese?”

Customer: “No! I want a plain cheeseburger! Only cheese!”

Cashier: “Only cheese? You mean just the buns and cheese, no meat?”

Customer: “Yes! That’s a plain cheeseburger.”

Cashier: “I understand, ma’am, just one moment.” *goes and gets the meatless burger* “Just to avoid any confusion in the future, a burger will come with meat unless otherwise asked.”

Customer: “That’s why I ordered it plain! Plain means no meat!”

Me: *deciding to comment* “So, if I order a plain hamburger, I’m only going to get buns?”

Customer: “No, you—” *pauses* “Oh, I’m an idiot.”