Nine Lives Won’t Be Enough

(I am an agricultural student at my high school. When we have our annual plant sale, I always volunteer my time on the weekends to help my teachers, considering no one else likes to do it. This happens one weekend when I am working.)

Customer: “Excuse me, ma’am, can you tell me what plant this is?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, that is catnip.”

Customer: “Wow, I did not know you guys sold that here.”

Me: “We typically don’t, but we were cleaning and found an old package of seeds and planted them as a joke, but to our surprise, they took off!”

Customer: “How much for one?”

Me: “$1.50 per pot.”

Customer: “Wow, that’s cheap!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, we try and keep our prices fairly low.”

Customer: “That’s neat! I’ll take ten!”

Me: *taken aback by the sheer number she is getting and starting to wonder how many cats she must have* “All right, with all the other plants that you are getting here today, your price will be [price].”

Customer: *pays*

Me: “I can bring your stuff out to you if you would like.”

Customer: “Oh, yes, please.”

Me: *loads the plants into her car, and my curiosity has finally gotten the best of me* “If you don’t mind my asking, how many cats do you have?”

Customer: “Oh, just one.”

(The customer leaves and I walk back to my post, apparently looking distraught enough to catch my teacher’s attention.)

Teacher: “You okay?”

Me: “Yes, but a woman just came and bought ten catnip plants for one cat…”

Teacher: “Lord have mercy on that cat… I hope she does not kill it…”