(My mum does drink wine, but rarely gets drunk. I am 15 and my sister 12. Mum has let us stay home alone for the first time while she and my step-dad go to the pub two miles up the road. She comes home around midnight, and while my sister and I had promised to go to bed before midnight, we were still up and playing videogames with the lights off and the sound down. She comes home drunk, and my step-dad sober as the designated driver. She yells up the stairs.)
Mum: “We’re home. Are you asleep?”
Me: “Not now.”
Mum: “Do you want sandwiches?”
Sister: “No thanks, mum. We’re not hungry.”
Mum: “Okay. Go back to sleep.”
(We carry on playing the videogame, determined to finish the level. Five minutes later:)
Mum: *still yelling* “Are you asleep?”
Us: “No!”
Mum: “Do you want a sandwich?”
Us: “No, thanks.”
Mum: “Okay.”
(This goes on for a little while. My step-dad has already gone to bed, but my mum is pottering about the house, drunk and offering us a sandwich every five minutes.)
Mum: “Do you girls want sandwiches?”
Me: “N—”
Sister: “Yes, please, mum!”
Me: “Don’t say yes. She’ll come upstairs.”
Sister: “She won’t leave us alone until we have a sandwich. We can turn the telly off when she comes up and leave the game on.”
Me: “Oh, yeah.”
(Mum makes us sandwiches, and we hear her start up the stairs. We flick the telly off and put a jumper over the gaming console to hide the ‘on-light’ and jump into bed. We hear a stumble and then our mum yells up the stairs.)
Mum: “I’m leaving your sandwiches on the stairs. Comes get them quick before the dog eats them.”
(We run down and get our surprisingly well made sandwiches and my mother decides to end the evening with this:)
Mum: “You know, you girls promised to be asleep by now. I think I should take away your videogames for a week.”
(My sister starts to argue how she woke us up, but I tell her okay, and we go back up to bed. As I suspected, the next day she remembers nothing.)
