Karkat, Thor, And Loki Walk Into A Bar…
(A con is going on nearby, and the fast food joint is full of people in cosplay. A rather attractive woman — dressed as a cheerleader with a pink chainsaw — leaves the building with her friends. They are whistled at by two rowdy customers entering.)
Customer #1: “Hey, dude, check out all these freaks in here!”
Customer #2: “Oh, God! They’re everywhere! F****** freaks.”
Customer #1: *to a male cosplayer in front of him* “Oi, mate, what the f*** are you supposed to be?”
Male Cosplayer #1: “M-me? I’m ‘Karkat’ from Homestuck.”
Customer #1: “Well, you look like a joke. What the f*** are those on your head?”
(The customer flicks the orange horns clipped to the cosplayer’s hair.)
Male Cosplayer #1: “Please don’t do that; I made these myself and I don’t want them to break.”
Customer #2: “You hear that? The little freak made his own horns! Ah, I guess it’s not all bad, though; did you see that chick before with the massive rack?”
Customer #1: “I know, you don’t see hot cheerleaders everyday. She’s totally going to get it off me later.”
Customer #2: “Yeah, we’ll find her and give it to her good. I’m going to squeeze those t*** of her so hard.”
Male Cosplayer #1: “Can you please stop?! It’s really degrading to talk about women like that.”
(The whole restaurant goes quiet, and they turn to the rowdy customers.)
Customer #1: “If the slag didn’t want it, she wouldn’t have them hanging out.”
Male Cosplayer #1: “She was in costume! Besides, what does it matter how she was dressed? Clothing isn’t an invitation.”
Customer #2: “Do you want to take this outside?”
(Just then, another male customer in the corner, who also happens to be a cosplayer, speaks up.)
Male Cosplayer #2: “If you fight him, you have to fight me first!”
Customer #2: “Who said that?”
(Male Cosplayer #2 stands up to reveal he is well over 6 ft tall, and very muscular, but in costume too.)
Male Cosplayer #2: “I am Thor, Son of Odin, God of Thunder, who commands the Lightning and the Storm!”
(At that moment, a third cosplayer stands up, revealing he too is very tall and muscular.)
Male Cosplayer #3: “And I am Loki of Asgard, and I am burdened with glorious purpose… to defend women from sexist pigs like you, and defend people’s right to cosplay!”
(The two rowdy customers quickly removed themselves from the restaurant, while Karkat, Thor and Loki received a round of applause.)
This story is included in our Cosplay roundup.
Question of the Week
Have you ever served a bad customer who got what they deserved?
