If Only They Had Seen This Coming!

I am the sender of this story. We stopped receiving the fortune teller scam call, but of course, that doesn’t mean we stopped receiving scam calls altogether.

This particular morning, I was at my workplace and it was slowly but surely starting to get busy. I was at the reception of the building, sorting the packages, when the phone rang.

Me: “[Workplace], good morning!”

Scammer: “Hello, this is Windows. Ma’am, please listen: your computer has malware.”

I smile, just as my coworker arrives.

Me: “Malware, reeeeaaaally now?”

Scammer: “Yes, ma’am, I can help—”

Me: *Interrupting* “Oh, please humor me. Please tell me exactly which one of the sixty computers in the building has malware. Pinpoint it for me, will you?”

Coworker: “What do you mean, malware?”

Me: *Loud enough for the scammer to hear* “Nah, don’t worry; it’s a scam call.”

Scammer: *After a pause* “What makes you think it’s a scam call, ma’am?”

Me: “Oh, I know your kind. So, which one of the sixty computers is it?”

Coworker: “[My Name], come on, we have stuff to do.”

Me: *sighing* “Too bad…” *To the scammer* “Sorry, pal, I don’t have as much time on my hands as you do, and I actually have some work to do. However, since you are happy to spend your day on the phone to scam and steal from people, why don’t you just go work in a call center like 911 or other emergency services? You would make money, actually save lives, and be useful for once. Anyway, bye, go bother someone else.”

And I hung up. That’s a shame; I really wanted to hear him try to come up with an answer to which of the non-existent computers it could be.

Related:
What, You Didn’t See That Coming?