I Have Half A Mind To Call You A Rude Name

I’m working at an indie pizza place. A couple comes to the counter and orders a half-meat-lovers, half-vegetarian pizza. That may sound odd, but it is actually a common order at the shop; the veggie pizza just tastes that good.

The order is made up and sent out to the table. Moments later, the girlfriend is at the counter ranting at us.

Girlfriend: “The meat juices are running onto the vegetarian side of the pizza! You should have known this wasn’t acceptable!”

Eventually, she storms off, and her tired-looking boyfriend comes up to get a takeaway box for the pizza.

Me: “Sorry again. If we’d known the two sides weren’t allowed to touch, we would have suggested two small pizzas instead of a half-and-half.”

Boyfriend: *Sighs* “It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”

He goes to get his girlfriend and leave.

The next customer comes up and says, loud enough for the whole shop to hear:

Customer: “A large pizza, please, half meat-lovers, half vegetarian. And we don’t care if the two halves touch.”